Sausagefest 2K7: The Subic Experience

May 11th, 2007

Sausagefest 2K7: The Subic Experience

Reported by Sydrick Salazar

 

Untamed… Uncut… Documented and was never fabricated.

 

Every year, my friends go to a summer getaway. In 2006, we headed to Lemery, Batangas. The year before, we went to a private resort in Antipolo. The year before that? Some of my friends went to Laguna, which still haunts me today for the fact that it was freakishly expensive… and my friends blame me for that for some strange reason.

 

Anyway, the common denominators of most of these vacations are 1) we never prepared, 2) we lack funds, and 3) there is a great ratio of men outnumbering girls.  

 

This Zambales Trip was no different. Although technically, girls outnumber us.

 

Yeah.

 

Not quite.

 

Here’s the thing. The oldest guy in our group happens to be the coach of a women’s soccer team. They’ll be participating on a tourney in Subic so he books us to tag along.

 

The Oddities

 

Aside from Kots, me and the rest of Kots’ football team, also in the trip were Tomi (the hot-headed one), Brian (Master Betty), Blind (looks lke Bistek), Allan, Janis (Lady Lee), Mark, Meaty, Froi, Phlebas, Hyubs, and Edson. We went to a beach called Ocean’s View. The water is fine and a few feet safe especially if you’re a person afraid of floating in a surface where your feet can’t step into anything.

 

Anyway, in bullet form, here are the significant events that happened on the trip.

 

Act 1: Pre-Subic

 

  • Meaty and Mark trash talked each other. Mark talked about something and it ended up with Meaty realizing that a tricycle hit his face during childhood, which explains his face. Mark retaliated and he described Meaty as a person resembling an animal or a country (it escapes me). All trip long they were nagging each other.

 

It had every sign of borderline gaydom.

 

Act 2: Surviving

 

  • Before joining his soccer team who had already went ahead to the tourney site, he showed us the beach and bought two big fishes for us to cook. After cooking the fishes (which incredibly tasted), Tomi and Allan went back to the city to buy food. By this time, some swam while others slept. When Tomi and Allan came back, they brought with them meat that did not came in the outskirts of the sea.

 

After eating, Edson tried starting the fun by opening his bottle of Emperador but to no avail.

 

Act 3: Card Game

 

  • We were about to play Texas Hold ‘Em but we had no coins (we’re misers… deal with it). This evolved to Pusoy Dos… with a twist. Playing was I, Edson, Janis, and Allan.

 

The catch was… loser sings. In the first game, Allan lost but the judges (aka gulang overlords, Brian and Tomi) called it a tune-up game. Allan also explained that he never was the “singing” type, which most of us never bought. Then Allan lost again, but the “judges” called the rule where the first person who scores two consecutive losses should sing. Then Allan lost again, Tomi and Brian couldn’t save him but Allan still wouldn’t sing. So we had to restart the round. In the restart, Janis had two straight losses. Because of Allan’s elusiveness early in the game, she denied singing. However, she did state that she will sing if she lost the next round… which she did. She then sang but she needs to be accompanied. She was pointing at Allan but due to his “not singing in public”; we drew cards to get the person that would also sing.

 

It was Meaty. He was horrified. He looks funny when he’s horrified. As tribute to her unending love to Froi, Janis sang Mandy Moore’s “Cry” and she sang this with conviction amidst the distractions. Meaty sang True Faith’s “Kung Okay Lang Sayo” which also drew raves because of his… bravery.

 

Afterwards, we headed to the beach. 

 

Act 4: Beach!

 

  • You got to love these expensive beaches during summer time. Despite our abundance of man-breasts, there was an adequate supply of amply-maintained girl hotness in the environment. When we were all asking ourselves if we should leave in the evening or stay for the night, my lady officemate saw me. I have no glasses which basically makes me a man with t-square length vision. We talked and yeah, they found my albino-like complexion a little… amazing (correction fluid white). Actually the first thing in her mind was “Sino yung mamang maputi… SYD”!!!! Sheesh, I need to seriously brown up my body. Anyway, my officemate said they were about to bar-hop across Subic and asked if we were about to do the same thing. My mind said YES… but for a group of 12, traveling commute, at a strange and distant location… let’s just say it is freakishly difficult for people to get anywhere in that situation. I said sure, just in case we’ll do the happy thing.

 

Also around this time, Kots texted and said that he and his women’s soccer team would be arriving soon.

 

Act 5: The Dramatic Moment

 

  • By this time, Kots and his players have arrived and were settling in the cottage next to us. All of a sudden, Froi and Janis felt they would not last surviving the night in a measly cottage. The cottage proved to be our only refuge as the rooms were all fully booked. Despite the begging and the angst-driven persuasions, they left and wandered Zambales, either to go back to Manila or look for an inn in the city.

 

Hmmm…

 

Hyubs and I never experienced the drama since he was helping me look for a cottage that we unfortunately failed to spot in time. When we got back we saw something so eerie, chills went down to our spine. Edson giving shots of Emperador to everyone.

 

Time check? 8pm.

Sydman’s Side Defect: Ginebra 30

May 10th, 2007

Sydman’s Side Defect: Ginebra 30

 

The entire buzz around the NBA Playoffs is taking out the interest in the PBA. So what better way to stir reaction than to cash in with the PBA’s resident crowd pleasers!

 

(Surely this should land me some kind of fanbase, hehe!)

 

Since 1979, the Baranggay Ginebra Kings is undoubtedly the most popular PBA team. It is safe to say that we have followed the Gins quest for championships. Legends like Allan Caidic, Paul Alvarez, Johnny Abarrientos, and Freddie Hubalde suited for the Gins at one point of their careers. Benjie Paras tried to opt out or get traded when he was unhappy at Shell when the Gins called for his services. If you want to become a great star and have a huge fan following, then Ginebra is the best place to go.

 

The ballclub started in controversy. As the Toyota franchise disbanded in 1984, most of its players were “sold” to the Beerhausen franchise. Ramon Fernandez was one of those players who were included in the transfer. However, Robert Jaworski resisted and stated that they were not for sale and they were not “meat”. When Ginebra came to the picture, “Jawo” and Francis Arnaiz joined the Kings. They also brought the fans to the once talent-plagued squad.

 

They have produced, developed, and created a bunch of superstars whom the fans cheered until they retired or got traded to another squad. Here are the players that best described the celebrated franchise.  

 

Before the list we should mention that Rudy Hatfield, Ronald Tubid, Rafi Reavis, and Billy Mamaril are not included for the reasons that they have yet to have a complete season with the Kings. Special mention from this list were the other players in the 80’s like Cayetano Salazar, Ed Ducut, and Mukesh Advani,  90’s players like Elmer Lago, Mike Orquillas, Ronald Magtulis, and Dodot Jaworski, and other players like Joey Marquez, Dennis Roldan, Terry Saldana, Willie Generalao, Pongkie Alolor, Bennett Palad, and Macky de Joya.

 

MY TOP 30 (Criteria: Popularity, Stats, and Tenure as a GIN)

 

30) Wilmer Ong – Long before Junthy Valenzuela, Ong was the most recognized hitman during the 90’s. He contributes with his muscle, and was one of Jaworski’s favorite bruisers in defending wide-bodied imports.

 

29) Benny Cheng – The former NCAA MVP found his way to the Gins via trade for Stevenson Solomon. He was the team’s starting forward, providing the hustle and the scrappy plays.

 

28) Sunday Salvacion – Another former NCAA MVP, Sweet Glorious Sunday transformed from a collegiate offensive powerhouse to a multi-dimensioned player. His clutch bombs have been one of his strong suits.

 

27) Willie Tanduyan – Little is known about this player but the former Crispa stalwart was one of Gilbey’s Gin’s first superstars. He was one of the franchise’s pioneers since its debut in 1979.

 

26) Rodney Santos – Another former NCAA MVP, the Slasher found himself as a Gin when he was traded alongside Andy Seigle for Jun Limpot. He quickly became part of Kings’ insanely quick backcourt rotation.

 

25) Manny Victorino – One of the finest centers of the PBA during the 80’s, Victorino was sent from Pepsi in exchange for draft pick Victor Pablo. He played in the team during their championship-less years.

 

24) Sonny Cabatu – This was his first and only stint as a top guy. Despite playing for a team that desperately needed wins, he was their main man in the paint. He had a double-digit points average while playing as a Gin.  

 

23) Vergel Meneses –He was disgruntled in Sunkist that the Gins gave up Noli Locsin for the services of this one-time MVP. He appeared short lived when a rookie named Mark Caguioa started his climb to the top, disemboweling his minutes… especially during fourth quarters. He was traded to FedEx afterwards. .

 

22) Rey Cuenco – The late former first pick overall in the 1986 Draft found himself a Gin when Ginebra traded its draft pick for him (they sent to Shell Romy dela Rosa). He was an exciting scorer but injury-plagued. He was best remembered as the person who instigated the Ginebra walkout (called Anejo then, they protested a foul against Cuenco which led to the stiff 550,000 fine they got from their actions). 

 

21) Joey Loyzaga –He was efficient as a shooter but this wide-bodied talent was also an able defender. He was also part of the Ginebra Bad Boys that shackled every offensive threat that barges in their way. He was also known as a former beau of screen goddess Gretchen Baretto.

 

20) Dondon Ampalayo – Called the Magic Man, the former Rookie of the Year could play inside and outside. However, his Ginebra stint was short-lived as the management feared of his effectiveness being injury prone and all. He was sent to Alaska in a forgettable trade, with the Kings getting ‘suppossedly” good Stevenson Solomon.

 

19) Leo Isaac – If Jawo was Magic Johnson then Isaac was their version of Byron Scott. At that time he was big for his position that on a regular basis, he creates mismatches. He was not much of a speedster but he does what it takes to claim wins. He was part of their championship in ’86.

 

18) Philip Cezar – The Scholar played his final years as Gin but he was not fading then. The Tapal King was still controlling the boards like a youngster. Aligning himself with the Big J was a tough act too – since they’ve possibly swung their fists at each other. However, this unlikely bond also prospered in his later years as he became the Big J’s chief assistant during their 1997 title run.

 

17) Mama Mamaril – Current King Billy should learn a thing or two from his father. Despite his reed-thin frame combining with his 6’6 body, “Mama” was fearless. His unwavering defense proved vital for his lengthy stay in the majors. He finished his career alongside Isaac, with their former rival, Shell.

 

16) Rudy Distrito – The legend of the Destroyer came into full throttle with his entry to the Ginebra franchise. Distrito fit with Jaworski’s system where physical play was never outdated and always mandatory. He was a streaky scorer, capitalizing on his unorthodox moves to confuse his opponents.

 

15) Romel Adducul – He was perceived as the biggest star that has never reached the PBA. That was why the fans were on high hopes when Adducul was taken by the Kings in the draft. However, despite him being an inside threat, his ability to score was non-existent. Nonetheless during his tenure, Adducul proved vital in their string of titles.

 

14) Jun Limpot – In a blockbuster deal, Limpot was picked up by Ginebra for Marlou Aquino. The Big Deal found a renewed passion that quickly gained them a finals seat against San Miguel (during Mark Caguioa’s rookie year). However, his Ginebra stint was marred with criticisms saying that has no heart in giving the teams he plays a title. He was traded to Purefoods, where he got his first championship despite playing limited minutes.  

 

13) Jayvee Gayoso – He started out as an upstart playing during Ginebra’s Dark Ages. He eventually became the thrust of Ginebra’s offense with Cabatu and Jarencio before the better reinforcements arrived. Mr. Adrenalin, as he was called, did stood his ground to maintain his status in the team by drilling timely triples that would send the Ginebra population at its feet.

 

12) Pido Jarencio – The former Santo Tomas rifleman went to the Gins via Pop Cola during the team’s Dark Ages. All of a sudden, he became a spectacular scorer (he was Gary David then but he ventured more outside the triple arc). He did soften a bit with the arrival of the new blood but the Fireman became a stellar find that would forever mark the history of the franchise.

 

11) Eric Menk – With the exodus of Tanduay, Ginebra received the player known to us as Major Pain. But the team waited a year for his services because of his RP Team loan. Regardless, when he entered the team, the team finally had a dominant scoring big man which simply made this adequate team into a superior unit which stands until now.

 

10) Vince Hizon – The former eighth pick of the 1994 draft came to the Gins via a trade which sent Nonoy Chuatico to Purefoods. The Prince blossomed into a perimeter threat, his bulk gifted with finesse and quickness, launched the Gins during the late 90’s. Hiz-on Fire was also a girl-pleaser, a rarity back then for Ginebra where they paraded hoodlum/stuntmen-looking personnel.

 

9) Jayjay Helterbrand – His brief stint with the Batangas Blades was enough for him to land a seat with the most popular ballclub. Blessed with speed, Helter-skelter became the new face of Ginebra’s vaulted run and gun offense. He took time off because of contract dispute but he returned in due time to rival Jimmy Alapag as the league’s best point guard. Alongside Caguioa, they are collectively known as the Fast and the Furious and the Bandanna Brothers.

 

8) Francis Arnaiz – Mr. Clutch played like Vince Hizon. Apart from their good looks, both were outside threats with tendencies to plummet penetrations given the opportunity. For three years, Jaworski’s best friend played back-up for the Living Legend to give the league its biggest backcourt punch in its early years. He left the country in 1986 and has since lived outside the Philippines.

 

7) Dante Gonzalgo – While he wasn’t quick, he was the Gins third main man behind Jawo and Chito. The Bicol Express proved to be the unsung hero of the team at times when they needed a serious boost to jumpstart their winning ways. Combining hardcourt savvy with an attitude rocked by the Jawo style of play, Gonzalgo stood his ground as one of the finest players the Ginebra fanbase has ever cheered upon.

 

6) Noli Locsin – Short for his position, he withstand his lack of height for quickness mixed with power. As a Jaworski go-to-guy, he controlled the paint, mauled competition, and strengthened the cause of the Gins’ quest for gold. This was perhaps his strength and also his weakness, as he failed to regain his dominance after he was traded out of the Gins. 

 

5) Chito Loyzaga – He was the original Dynamite. Son of acclaimed Hall of Famer Caloy and brother to teammate Joey, he was Jaworski’s key contributor during the 80’s. Displaying an outside touch rare for big men then, Loyzaga has the ability to play all 5 positions in effective fashion when the situation arises. He was not a real offensive threat but he displayed great defensive awareness that helped his team to rise against competition.  

 

4) Marlou Aquino – Coined once as Ginebra’s savior. When motivated he could demolish every competition laid in front of him. The Gins of the 90’s relied heavily on the Skyscraper in bringing the team to the top. Well, he did give the Gins something to cheer about. As the Gordon’s Gin Boars, they performed a dazzling display of tricks that would eventually land them a championship. He became disgruntled though with Jaworski’s ouster and was traded to Sta. Lucia for Jun Limpot.

 

3) Bal David – His amazing play with PBL Grand Slam team Stag made him a talent to scour for the La Tondena franchise. He started out just a person to compliment Marlou, he then sprinted to stardom with his innate ability to make clutch baskets. His half court buzzer beater against SMB is one of the 10 best plays of the league and his other buzzer beater made Asi Taulava cry. Just like Jaworski, he left the court not really saying he retired (he just went out of the spotlight but never finalized retiring). 

 

2) Mark Caguioa – A virtual unknown when he applied for the 2001 Draft, many were puzzled how this blond-haired baller could even make an impact. Six years later, he is regarded as Ginebra (or perhaps the league’s) heart and soul. He took the league into greater heights with his amazing array of moves inside and outside the paint. His flamboyant, charismatic, and cocky nature fits him right in the mold of the Big J. His frequent trips to the finals revitalized the fans. The PBA has benefited to his unwavering desire to pick his game up a notch. It is safe to say that he is the next Jaworski of Philippine Basketball.

 

1) Robert Jaworski – He was the person responsible for creating this phenomenon. Ginebra was a cellar-dwelling team then and with his arrival, not only did he take his brand of game to the team but his hordes of fans flocked and inspired every Gin cager. His on-court wizardry… and dastardly ploys is forever cemented in the PBA annals as the biggest events that could ever happen in sports. He was also a great motivator, still getting the crowd at its feet despite insurmountable odds. Because of Jawo, despite leaving the team in ’98, Ginebra is forever the league’s biggest crowd drawer.  


7 - Good Times!

March 26th, 2007

good_times_s1.jpg

Let me tell you something: I am NOT an excellent gamer.

But last Saturday could be the best game I have ever had.

DOTA. Leviathan (aka The Tidehunter). 20-0.

The most points I’ve ever scored in a DOTA game was 33-5 when Gondar (aka The Bounty Hunter) had movement speed when it was invisible (heavily nerfed).

This was the biggest score I had without going through death.

Welcome to the Sydrick Salazar Show… DY-NO-MITE!!

6 - Wok With Yan

March 24th, 2007

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Here’s the thing about technology… I just can’t really understand it.

Anyway, I work as a writer. I’m not that keen on pursuing it further but TV writing is in my blood. My parents are news people and I just went to the merchandising side of the network because on the sheer fact that I like to make up stories rather than writing a story from an event.

In order to become a good TV writer you must have to ability to become a great lackey to the overlords that control your future and your pension. If they hate something you created you have to nod your head and tell them you’ll revise it.

And these overlords don’t exactly agree to one another and it would take days and even weeks for them to settle on a complete goal. But you will not know them - because while they coordinate on a common theme, you revise and revise and revise these ideas until you’ll get pissed with your creation.

It could have been better if the boss actually supplies the thought according to their vision… just like Stephen Yan.

During those Wok With Yan days, have you heard Yan ever muffed words like “This food is crap” or “I’m going to give these cuisines to the audience members that look like abstract designs because I’m not sure if this would turn on the lovely ladies in the front row!”

However, if the bosses can conceptualize and execute these ideas, why would they need us?

Being a lackey is good. :)

5 - Grosse Pointe

March 22nd, 2007

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Ever had an idea that never took off? Take Grosse Pointe for instance. The show had a fairly decent cast with a great storyline. 

Darren Star of Beverly Hills 90210 fame, created the series. It is based on teens, just like 90210, but their story begins as actors playing part in a show based on 90210.

There’s a character that plays a good girl on cam but is hideous off (a parody on Shannon Doherty), a character that is evil but in real-life is overly sweet (a parody on Jennie Garth), and a character that plays a rebel James Dean-like teen despite seriously looking like he’s 30 and hides the fact that he has begin balding and is now wearing a toupee (a parody on Luke Perry)!

TIME Magazine said that the show was a critically acclaimed hit, just like Arrested Development but viewers sigh away from the show and it was seen in the ratings, just like Arrested Development.

So, why did I said such things?

It’s 11pm and I’m still at the office… to be continued.

 

4 - Just Shoot Me

March 21st, 2007

Justshootme

Just Shoot Me was a top rating sitcom on NBC that had a seven-year-and-a-half run. The show is all about the wise-crack antics inside the office led by the Trump-like Jack Gallo, his daughter Mia, and Jack’s secretary, Dennis Finch (portrayed by the girly-figured David Spade).

Anyway, this day turned out as one of those moments you need to face a gun in my skull. Bossy, inconsiderate clients ruled what turned out my “revision” week.

Through the years, I’ve open my mind towards changes but mindless overturns makes me want to hurl… at them.

Seriously. At them.

Welcome to the Sydrick Salazar Show —> where you have to get a job order before you could pounce on your detractors.

3 - Growing Pains

March 20th, 2007

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 Growing Pains was a long-running sitcom that starred the likes of Alan Thicke, Tracey Gold, and Kirk Cameron. However, many never knew that a young Leonardo DiCaprio was once part of the program during the series’ end. He starred as the orphan living in their house because yeah… the Seaver’s are really that good.

Anyway, I had to dribble my thoughts on why I was placed in this earth in the first place. I am now at the deathbed of my immature life. This year marks the silver anniversary of my birth and the angst that is the quarter-life crisis is taking its toll on me.

It’s hard to go for college chicks right now because people will definitely think that I have issues dealing with people within my age range. Meanwhile, every girl I’ve either dated or courted have gotten themselves hitched, or extracted a relative in their under area (clue: it ain’t their dad), or gone ugly, or basically looks like a keyboard because they’re stuck trying to earn a managerial job before 30.

Me? I could care less. I’m vying time so to speak (or sourgrapingly speaking).

Anyway Mark Herras quoted this while playing a character in “Let the Love Begin”.

Mark: Buti pa sila happy. Ako, kelan kaya ako magiging happy? (Good for them, they’re happy. How ’bout me? When will I become happy?) <— NOTE: subtitling because I’m going to use this page wisely. :)

Dingdong Dantes answered this question well while playing his character in “Moments of Love”

Dingdong: 2006 na ngayon… hindi 1957. (This is 2006… not 1957)

Welcome to the Sydrick Salazar Show.

2 - Life As We Know It

March 19th, 2007

Take me to someplace cool…

“Life” was a short-lived drama which starred Sean Faris, D.B. Sweeney, Margarette Moreau, Missy Perregym, and Kelly Osbourne. Despite its critically acclaimed status, the show got axed due to ABC’s (the US network) cost-cuts. The series featured a fourth person perspective similar to Malcolm in the Middle but instead of simply looking at the camera and talk, the three main characters get out of their scene to preview the spot they are in right now and they analyze the events unfolding.

lawki2.jpg

Anyway, the title basically fits the hellhole we call our lives right now. We can never predict it and all we can do right now is look forward to the paradise and the nightmares our lives will sail into.

There are no backspace and reset buttons to every second our lives pass by. We have to make best of what lousy material we have right now and turn it into something stellar.

Welcome to the Sydrick Salazar Show… Kicking and getting kicked in the ass since 1982.

1 - Doogie Style

March 11th, 2007

Doogie Howser, MD

Since portraying a youthful brainiac, I have followed Neil Patrick Harris’ career.

Starship Troopers is the only Sci-Fi film that I like (well, considering the fact that the whole concept of the movie is basically Starcraft). I watched Stark Raving Mad and I will support How I Met Your Mother. And seriously, who can forget his role as himself in the critically acclaimed motion flick Harold and Kumar.

But we all knew Harris as Doogie Howser, MD. For almost half a decade we’ve seen him in every episode writing two small paragraphs, blue background, white font, and Wordstar based documents in his “new age” computer.

Subconsciously, Doogie Howser invented blogging.

That’s why the first blog I’m going to put here is a tribute to Mr (or Miss) Neil Patrick Harris.

I also want to thank Jorge Cogsayon for hooking me to this contraption. I wish him and Neil Patrick Harris would do it with each other.

Anyway, welcome to the Sydrick Salazar Show.

Game starts now.  

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If I’m going to make this as a portfolio of sorts, then you can visit my other sites at:

sydman.multiply.com (the main page)

sydman.livejournal.com

drixlazar.deviantart.com

hoops.blink.ph